Okeechobee City Council approves turning City Hall into Dollar General

OKEECHOBEE- In a cost saving measure, Okeechobee City Council Members approved leasing City Hall to the Dollar General Corporation.

“We’re only in this building, what… once a month,” asked the mayor. “This is prime real estate. No sense in letting it go to waste. This could really help our economy and job market.”

Dollar General will pay a monthly lease of $650, and plans to sell warm soda, half-eaten Snickers, and, for some reason, a box set of Garth Brooks CD’s.

“Investing in worn down, abandoned buildings has been a real boom for our bottom line,” said CEO Todd Vasos.

Dollar General is promising to keep City Hall in the same condition we’ve all come to expect from their businesses, including a constant smell of burnt hair throughout the store and one of the most disgusting bathrooms you’ve ever seen.

The company has kept their word to the City Council and staffed their store with people from the local workforce, hiring one employee to operate the store for 70 hours a week.

After the acquisition, Dollar General is looking to expand their footprint even further in Okeechobee. Reports have the company looking at turning the helicopter in Flagler Park into a “Dollar General Mobile”, which will feature a random man in a Dollar General vest sitting in the cockpit asking passerby's if they’d like to buy some generic lunch meat.

Also at their May meeting, City Council members approved turning the fire station into a car wash.